Say Uncle
by Hockeygirl28
Summary: It all started with a simple game of rock paper scissors lizard spock. But nothing is ever simple when it comes to young justice, especially Wally and Artemis. Warning: Contains pokemon battles, care bear wars, lightsaber duels and so much more chaos. Pure insanity.


**This story is pure crack; I'm still questioning what is left of my sanity. I dedicate this story to all 90's kids and nerds everywhere.**

**I don't own yj, pokemon or anything else of those sorts.**

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It all started with an innocent game of rock paper scissors lizard spock. No one had expected for something so trivial could of escalated to this, but it somehow did. Not even dear old Batsy saw this coming….

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"SAY IT!" Artemis ordered the redhead she had in a headlock.

"HELL NO YOU'D HAVE TO KILL ME FIRST!" He replied trying to shake himself from her iron grip.

"IS THAT A CHALLENGE BAYWATCH?" she responded, as he finally got loose.

"NO, BUT I'M STILL NOT GOING TO SAY IT!" Wally defended

"Then you leave me no choice." The archer said as she pulled a poke ball out of thin air and shouted, "PIKACHU I CHOOSE YOU!"

Wally mirrored her movements and shouted," CHARMANDER I CHOOSE YOU!"

The two heroes unleashed their Pokémon on each other in all out war. Artemis's Pikachu beat Wally's Charmander, but his Geodude beat her Pikachu. In the end her Charzard somehow beat the hell out of his Blastoice.

"I WIN! NOW SAY IT!" She demanded before lunging at the speedster.

"NEVER!"

Artemis and Wally almost fought each other to the death before they separated again so they could catch their breath.

"WALLY SAY IT OR I WILL UNLEASH THE ARMY OF DANCING CAREBEARS!" She challenged.

"BRING IT BLONDIE! YOUR CAREBEARS ARE NO MATCH FOR MY ARMY OF BEANIE BABIES!" He shouted.

"GENERAL BEAR ATTACK!" the archer commanded.

Wally's eyes narrowed and he called his forces. "COMMANDER BEANIE CHARGE!"

And with that the epic short-lived but memorable stuffed animal war had begun. Eventually all that was left in the battlefield were scraps of colored fabric; some remains of stuffing and a few stray beanie baby beads.

There was no clear winner so they continued fighting in the tattered remains of the Mt. Justice gym.

"SAY IT WALLY!" Artemis snarled

"THE HELL I WILL, HARPY." He shouted.

"SAY IT YOU ASSHOLE!"

"NEVER!"

"FINE THEN YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE. GODZILLA ATTACK!" The blonde ordered the large dinosaur.

"HA! LIKE THAT WIMPY LIZARD COULD DO ANY DAMAGE. LETS GO OPTIMUS PRIME!"

After both Godzilla and Optimus Prime defeated each other and there still was no clear winner Wally called upon the power of fellow gingers.

"WEASLYS ATTACK!"

Luckily for Artemis she had the power of Harry Potter, Hermione, Neville and Seamus (the guy that sets everything on fire) to back her up.

And thus began the also short-lived but memorable Wizard World War Two. There too was no apparent winner.

Then both vigilantes flung themselves at each other in combat. Both were beating the shit out of the other, but they fought on.

Somehow in the middle they had a jousting match, a fencing match, nerf war, an arm wrestle (ok Artemis won that one but Wally would never admit it), a thumb war and then ended up playing rock paper scissors lizard spock again. Still there was no winner so they returned to beating the crap out of each other.

"SAY IT!"

"NEVER!"

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20 some minutes later…

Apparently just beating the shit out of eachother got boring so Artemis grabbed the nearest hockey stick she could find and KF grabbed a tennis racket and the two continued their battle.

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30 some minutes later…

After their dance/rap battle had taken place, the duo was now fighting with light sabers.

"SAY IT KID IDIOT!" Artemis hollered blocking a swipe from her opponent.

"KISS MY ASS WITCH!" Wally countered while blocking a blow from the archer.

"SAY IT YOU WIMP!" she yelled.

"I'M NOT A WIMP. I'M JUST NOT SAYING IT." He growled

The hell bent archer knocked the weapon out of his hands and tossed hers to the ground; she preferred to fight with her hands anyways. With that she engaged him in combat. Eventually the arguing bunch ended up making out.

Unknown to the archer and speedster who were too engrossed in fighting they had an audience. The whole league just stood there slack jawed in absolute utter shock.

"Wow. Just wow…." Robin muttered staring at the now kissing couple. (He had a video of the whole…event)

Even Batman didn't know what to say, no one did.

"What just happened?" Asked Zatanna as she too recovered.

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A few minutes later…

Artemis and Wally returned to beating the hell out of each other after their kiss. Their argument never changed, but both were too stubborn to give in.

"What does she want him to say?" Conner asked Robin.

"I think they're playing say uncle." The boy wonder guessed and then explained the premise of the 'game'.

Artemis and Wally's 'game' of say uncle continued for another five hours and ensued the random chaos of paintball, tennis matches, a karaoke battle, a water balloon war and a spitball fight. Eventually Green Arrow and Flash pulled their protégés apart with the help of Superman and Captain Marvel. There still was no winner.

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**Kudos to whoever can guess where rock paper scissors lizard Spock comes from. I want to know what you think so review. I know that there are mistakes in this story I typed it in a rush, so I apologize in advance. Review! Do it for the children!**

**Tootles!**


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